Mademoiselle Noir

        Okay, I know I still keep complaining about something but.. whatever! I have made this blog so I can complain. This time I'm going to complain about people. I'm tired of meeting new people (and not just because I don't like people very much) because of how same they are. You know, you meet new people and you are like.. oh, yes, he/she's quite nice and cool. And when you get to know them, you find out they are like all of the other people you know. It never happened to me, that I've met someone and I was like: "Oh, it's such a unique person, I've never met someone like that. I want to spend time with him, I want to know him deep, I want to know what he thinks about when he goes to sleep, his fears, his hopes and what he thinks about me." ( Or she, I don't care if it's man or woman) 

       Well, it sounds like I just need somebody who I can talk about stars and universe, about religion and poetic things, about beauty in this world. I need somebody who understands my other side, who will love me, no matter what and who will give me something. 

Other thing I'm tired of. Guys. Guys in my age. I'll tell you list of themes they want to talk about:

• sex
• food
• sports
• THEIR experiences
• sex
• sex
• sex
• sex

        And that's all. I used to have a one good guy friend maybe a year earlier. He wanted to have sex with me( I'm not sure if he was just kidding, or he was serious. I've never tried) and he was talking about it ALL THE TIME. Literally. He was like: "Why don't you want to sleep with me?" again and again. And at the end I wasn't able to make new tergiversations why I don't. The reason- I just don't want to wasn't enough for him. At the end of our friendship he started to think I'm lesbian. Just because I didn't want to have sex with him! It's like he thinks he's some God of Sex, or what. It was terrible. I don't want to talk about sex! I want to talk about poetry, and magic and supernatural things. To be fair, sex is not that important and interesting for me!! I've never had sex, so I don't know what to say about it. Talking with some virgin boy about sex. Yes, that's what I want to spend my words on. Two virgins talking about sex. It's like two people talking about, for example, movie they've never seen and they are like " Oh, that's the best movie ever! I'm so excited to see it again. Do you want to watch it with me?". But okay, let's just fuck logic! We love sex, don't we?

        Sorry for long post. I just needed to tell this to someone.

       To be fair, I've got two persons in my life, who I think are special. My two cousins. The first one is my second half, my soulmate and she is everything I was talking about here. I'm acting like overly attached cousin, already. And the second one, her sister is an amazing person, too. We made her to listen to same music as we do (amazing feeling) and since that time it's even better than before. 

E.